Friday, August 13, 2010

I'm Just Gonna Dump !

I don't usually blog about how yukky I feel. I try to keep this blog my "little happy place." Another place where I pretend to be who I want to be - funny & happy & optimistic.

But I feel rotten. I can barely move my neck, my lip hurts because I have a cold sore, and I'm sweaty and exhausted.

Taken separately, I can handle these things - I'm pretty used to the fibromyalgia body pain stuff, and can usually handle it by using my favorite combo: massage and narcotics. Being sweaty and exhausted isn't particularly out of my league either. But the cold sore...

The cold sore pushed me over the edge. For most people, a cold sore is an irritating little blemish. For me, a cold sore is a potentially massive agonizing open wound that leaves a scar, as verified by the 1974 memory on my bottom lip. The first tingle strikes unimaginable terror in my heart. Really.

So today, in the midst of my ick, I naturally searched for a flickr photo of a "garbage dump." And again, I am humbled and embarrassed by what I found.

Pictures of Indian kids sorting through rubbish for scraps of food or stuff to sell. Proving that one can always find some good mixed into the bad - one man's trash is another man's treasure.

Photos of bagged garbage - once people's prized possessions - piled against flood-ravaged homes. The sign of communities coming together to rebuild. Optimism and hope.

And this photo "ice cream man at the garbage dump." Showing me that even though life can be full of crap, you can make a life in the middle of it.

But I still feel rotten.